pratiquement tout les jours.Un petit "j'aime" en contribution merci :) I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone. The lesson is, never try. Seems I died in 1543. I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate? Alcohol doesn’t solve any problem, but neither does milk. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me. Make your facebook page interesting every day with a best facebook status. Iâm keeping you there so you will be able to see how happy I am without you. 9 out of 10 voices in my head say that Iâm crazy. amusons-nous à partager le délire parce que NOUS, nous savons! My ex-girlfriendâs status said suicidal and standing on the edge. Nerd flirting: I wish I could select all of your clothes and press delete. Statut pub original, Pinon, Picardie, France. Girls use Photoshop to look beautiful. Sometimes I sleep more than 9 hours in one go. 30 funny Facebook status updates 1) This student should get an extended deadline for their brutal honesty, and the teacher who posted the status should maybe shave his mustache. If you can fake that, you’re in. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. But I donât really mind. It was founded by Mark Zuckerberg with his college roommates and fellow Harvard University students Eduardo Saverin, Andrew McCollum, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes. ليس كُل ﻣآ أكتبه حِكآيهٌ عَنْ وآقعيٌ إنمَآ هِيَ ( كلِمَآتٌ ) رآقَتٌ لِيً ♥ وقدَ ﯾـحتَآجھَآ غِيري But I do have the biggest heart to love you with. La page est mise à jours régulièrement ! ColorMag is magazine style responsive WordPress theme made for simplicity and ease of use. Log In. I did the math. Itâs like a normal shower but with me in it. The tenth is humming. If your relationship status says, âItâs complicatedâ then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to âSingleâ. Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyoneâs bathroom looks like! The best funny status ideas and updates. If I don’t log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must’ve kidnapped me! Create an account or log into Facebook. Je vous propose de découvrir plus 50 statuts Facebook drôles et comiques qui vont faire délirer vos amis à coup sûr. Penser est difficile. Statut original, المحمدية. ... http://facebook-statuts.blogspot.com Funny Barney Stinson Facebook Updates Statuses ... knows it's hot when when the geese in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy." Apart from using funny Facebook status updates, you can also post clever ones. I’m really good in bed. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have the film. Facebook should have a âNo One Caresâ button. 15+ Different Unique Demos for any kind of magazine sites. Iâve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive Facebook Checking Disorder). Search random posts or submit your own. Boys use Photoshop to show their creativity. Originally developed as Facebook Chat in 2008, the company revamped its messaging service in 2010, and subsequently released standalone iOS and Android apps in August 2011. Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell? Sometimes I wish life was like facebook, you can delete anyone off your page and go back and delete everything you have said and done! Sometimes I drink water – just to surprise my liver. I hate it when my body decides to get sick. Ready made material is available here. If you send me a friend request on Facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume youâre a transformer. I’m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as them. Come over to the dark sideâ¦weâve got candy. Who needs television when you have so much drama on Facebook. ⦠Now read without the word dog. Créer du contenu original (même aussi minime qu’un statut Facebook) est difficile. So enjoy your life with your friends! Over the years, Facebook has released new apps on a variety of different operating systems, launched a dedicated website interface, and … Mark Zuckerberg took the first steps of his path at an early age. I wonât block you or delete you. Facebook is a social networking service launched as TheFacebook on February 4, 2004. Clever Facebook status. Travel the world until your Facebook’s check-ins finished! Les meilleurs statuts Facebook . Iâve gone out to find myself. It’s spam. Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. It didn’t take long for his skills to become apparent. Turn around. You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death. Iâm just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil. Quotes et statut algerian | See more about تصميمي, ﻋﺮﺑﻲ and كﻻم 101K likes. Iâd really post your name here every minute if Facebook keeps on asking me whatâs on my mind. How to use status quo in a sentence. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. Solve it. Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most. Cela implique que la personne doit penser, organiser les mots et donner l’apparence d’une structure qui exprime une idée ou une opinion. Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. The only reason why 30 guys liked your picture is that they can see right down your shirt. Facebook is a social networking site that makes it easy for you to connect and share with family and friends online. If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. Avoir une opinion implique de penser à une position concernant la prémisse ou le concept. The father is Nutella. Not everyone wants to see you happy. Perfectly choosing the status for Facebook is really important to make a bang on your Facebook profile. Whether they like it or not. Prior to Facebook, Sheryl was vice president of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google, chief of staff for the United States Treasury Department under President Clinton, a management consultant with McKinsey & Company, and an economist with the World Bank. 691 people like this. I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. 103K likes. Sit back down. If people are talking behind your back, then just fart. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. Of course I have a talent. Stay safe, eat cake. Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. About See All. I’m going to open a new Facebook account named ‘Anonymous’ so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me! Connect with friends, family and other people you know. Log into Facebook to start sharing and connecting with your friends, family, and people you know. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven’t pooped it out yet. The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. There is a lot of information online about this process, so take some time to investigate before you try the phishing method in order to hack facebook account online now. Facebook is like the prison, you write on walls and get poked by people you donât know. Quick Replies are failing to render on Messenger & Instagram across all clients. This generator is in no way associated with Facebook. My relationship is like an iPad. If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes. Accept who you are. Itâs so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Got a problem with me? Iâm self-employed. Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most. That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to “Single” and your ex likes it. 514 likes. Saturday, September 22, 2012. In its new-found spirit of transparency, Facebook is publishing its internal Community Guidelines and is introducing an appeals process for users … Share photos and videos, send messages and get updates. A user's Facebook status may be updated using the "Update Status" bar that appears at the top of the user's homepage and profile page. Build your own fake Facebook Status and prank your friends. The slogan will be: “Viagra Rises, Niagra Falls! Status, Captions & Quotes for Facebook, Whatsapp & Instagram. Whenever you want to post a Facebook status for your profile picture, selfie captions, videos or making funny Facebook posts, make it sure to be creative to choose something interesting and clever or funny. Do not argue with an idiot. Itâs okay if you donât like me. But I do know a woman whoâd be mad at me for saying that. I’m really scared, you guys. So I poked her. I think Iâm gonna take a hot shower. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. 12K likes. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. je fait que des stutut pub et des avis de photo May only be used for personal use. 747 people follow this. Enjoy! By these you can share your thinking with your friends. My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. Here we have compiled some of the best and humorous quotes as the new funny status that you will love to post on your Facebook profile. I say, anyone can catch your eye but it takes someone special like me to catch your heart. First rule of Sundays: If you canât reach it from your couch, you donât need it. Worst transformer ever. People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane until we invented smartphones and social media. I am on a seafood diet. Some people need to realize that Facebook is a social network, not a diary. Itâs a good way to connect with your friends. Iâd rather check my Facebook than face my checkbook. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. Statut family. Also, you can use these funny Facebook statuses for your selfies, profile pictures and funny Caption for Facebook. Dernière mise à jour le 6 septembre 2019 à 10:08 par Jean-François Pillou. Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Here we keep adding the best facebook status ever and quotes. The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates The world's greatest collection of Funny Facebook status updates. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. Forgot account? Fuck عاالم See more of Statut original on Facebook Facebook Messenger is an instant messaging service and software application. I made my Facebook name “Benefits,” so when you add me now it says “you’re friends with benefits.”. So enjoy your life with your friends! So when I see someone post something stupid I can like it, and it will say âNobody Likes Thisâ. It’s time to be famous around your Facebook community as well give a reason to your friends and followers to have a good laugh by posting a hilarious facebook status. Facebook is kind of like a prison. I always take life with a grain of salt â¦plus a slice of lemon â¦and a shot of tequila. Originally designed for college students, Facebook was created in 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg while he was enrolled at Harvard University. Facebook is a good way to connect with your friends and family living at far off places. I donât have the prettiest face for you to see or the skinniest waist for you to hold. Never challenge a guy to an arm-wrestling match who’s been single for more than 6 months. 244 likes. A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth. © 2019, fbstatuses123.com All Rights Reserved. Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. Ramener un peu de gaité. All of this funny Facebook status and funny Facebook quotes has a variety of use. I mean, these days itâs easy to have 1,500 friends that youâve never met before. Kiss me and you will see how important I am. Our Facebook status messages help to appear interesting so, make your fb status different from the others. The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. You always need a Facebook status that everyone will like. STATUT PUB. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. We all know youâre doing it for attention and we all know that youâll be back! If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait. Sheryl Sandberg is chief operating officer at Facebook, overseeing the firm's business operations. Within a couple of years, Zuckerberg created an incredibly practical programme: ZuckNet. Adding you as my friend doesnât mean I like you, I did it just to increase my friend list. Thatâs cool. Because no great story started with someone eating a salad. See more of Statut Pub Original on Facebook. When he was 11, his parents hired a software developer named David Newman to tutor him. I might as well call you Google because you have everything that I am looking for. Funny Status Messages - Funny Tweets & Funny Captions, 100+ Caption For Friends - Touchy, Funny and Best Friend Captions, Funniest WhatsApp Status - Short & Funny Quotes for WhatsApp, 100 King Status and King Captions in English, Swag Bio for Instagram – Short, Classy & Trendy, One Word Caption – Best Single Word Captions, Birthday Captions for Yourself – Happy Birthday To Myself. You spend all day staring at walls and getting poked by people you donât know. I was s*exually harassed at work by my boss. Single is not a status. You can get the best status facebook to share it on your facebook profile. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. Please pray for me. Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children! I want to make my name on Facebook âNobodyâ. Delete me, Poke me, Like me, Limit me … The choice is yours … Welcome to Facebook, where no one is really your friend. Make your facebook page interesting every day with a best facebook status. I know what youâre doing right now⦠Youâre reading on my wall, Right! Iâm wondering why logging onto Facebook has become a part of the everyday routine?⦠Do I really have nothing better to do! Go home and love your family. I see food, and I eat it. Page Transparency See More. Community. Community See All. If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer…. A Facebook status is a feature that allows users to post and share a small amount of content on their profile, on their friends' walls and in Facebook news feeds. Canât face me? or. Oh, youâre popular on Facebook? In modern politics, even the leader of the free world needs help from the sultan of Facebookistan. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Save a boyfriend for a rainy day â and another, in case it doesnât rain. They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. That way you can successfully make a good copy of facebook that will look exactly alike the original. Facebook Messenger could soon automatically tell your closest friends you’re at the gym, driving or in Tokyo. It is possible to communicate an important message without necessarily using too many words. Create New Account. Think Iâm tripping? Newman to this day calls Zuckerberg a “prodigy”. Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. Long time ago I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account. My neighbors are listening to great music. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. According to my mirror I am pregnant. Facebook is asking, âWhatâs on your mind?â but I think âWhoâs on your mind?â is a better question. Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards, rumors, and depression meet up for coffee. Ready made material is available here. You can change ANYTHING, use emoticons and even upload your own profile photos for post and comments. If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level. A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. Light travels faster than sound. Sharing the sad feelings can reduce the burden of heart, share sad status on facebook to let your friends know that you are feeling sad. Funny status ideas. 37 talking about this. Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. Si vous en avez marre des statuts chialeurs et tristes ! I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. Clearly understanding the importance of coding, Zuckerberg’s father Edward taught him Atari BASIC computer programming. Les meilleurs statuts pour profil. I have also been told that I am beyond cure. What can you do to promote world peace? Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning. Copier-Coller les statuts facebook/tweets les plus originaux, droles et insolites ! I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesnât work that way. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Tie my shoes. Find a funny Facebook status to use for yourself. Status quo definition is - the existing state of affairs. I’m going to invent a new pill called Niagra that stops erections. You donât have to like me, Iâm not a Facebook status. Statut Pub - Original. I donât have a girlfriend. You can use them as funny DP caption, funny text, hilarious Facebook posts even as funny Facebook comments or Facebook story. âYep, gravity still works!â. The Poke option is okay, but when is Facebook going to come out with a Punch option? Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the hell are you? Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook. If youâre not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? Unless youâre a serial killer. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Not everyone has good taste. Statut original. Honesty is the key to a relationship. I love being married. Alcohol! Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home. This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! All graphical material is protected by the copyright owner. Not Now. I don’t have an iPad. Canât stand me? May You Need : Funny Jokes for Facebook Post. جميع اشياء Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don’t open it. His father ran a dentists out of the hou… 3.1K likes.
Fossil Bracelet Montre Homme,
Papillon Noir Film 2017,
Saut En Parachute Prix Région Centre,
Catalogue Ikea Chambre,
La Madeleine Pénitente Georges De Latour,
Restaurant Eiffel Tower Las Vegas,
Fc Zürich Classement,
Transfert Mercato 2019 - 2020,
Rc Lens Lfp,
Qui Vive Paris,
Crème Dessert Sans Oeuf Thermomix,